Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Post Christmas Temper Tantrum

I am way behind on this posting business.....to catch up I thought I would start with today.
Maybe my 'naughty' has been buried under my 'nice' all season or maybe I am having post Christmas blues, or maybe I was just due for a good emotional venting.
After Remy kicked me out of bed at 2am I didn't stop in the kitchen for chocolate or oreos (points for me I am a nocturnal snacker) I didn't set my alarm because I knew I was working from home today and had a fairly small list of things to accomplish. #1 on my list was working out. During December I took a small sabbatical from the working out regime, too busy doing too many good things, and baking too many goodies. Truth be told I've been on a semi sabbatical since I had surgery in April, and the lbs have slowly but surely been creeping back on. Time to kick it into gear. I hopped on the scale first thing and HOLY @#?*! Wowee... hmm...well the truth hurts, but I was headed downstairs to workout.
As usual I got stopped en route to make the kids breakfast, find lost toys, get kids dressed, change diapers, start the laundry ...then Remy needed a bath but refused to sit down in the bath because his butt hurts, which I understand... but ended up yelling at him to just sit down darn it!!!!!!!!!!!...(I have to pause here because I am not usually a yelling mom). I promptly feel bad because I yelled and I pass the STUPID scale on the way out of the bathroom which only reminds me (like most days lately) I have yet to make it down-stairs to work-out. I can then here my darling hubby working away in the garage which means he is making nice progress on his list of to-do's (which only makes me more mad).
A bit of history here - As a child I could throw a tantrum with the best of them. My adult tantrums are few and far between, but usually consist of not yelling, screaming or thrashing about on the floor, but silence as I march through the house putting things away with a Fury that usually includes slamming a few drawers and tossing toys non to gently into the toy box.
Within a few minutes the hubby comes in from the garage and asks, "Is everything alright with Rems, because you seem a bit tense." Which is code word for, "What the heck is wrong with you?" I then proceed to tell him I am going to be, "freakin fat forever unless I get to work-out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ok a little dramatic, but it got my point across. I marched around for about another 30min picking up, putting away....when I finally made it down stairs to work-out.
I had a great run, followed my 15 minutes on the bike while I listened to the first three chapters of the Book of Mormon on my ipod (you just gotta love multi-tasking)
I finished up some work things I needed to get done, fed the kids lunch and went to shower and get dressed for the day. Just to spite the scale I thought I would get on it one more time, to see just how high I could make it go. The whole "don't weigh yourself in the afternoon". Keep in mind I have had breakfast and lunch and had about 20oz of water.
Pre tantrum vs. Post tantrum I lost 3 pounds!!!! Seriously this tantrum thing must be good for the metabolism! I'm going to have to try it more often!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas Cards

It's time to mail em!
If you look at this blog and think I might not have your mailing address will you email it to me at m_bingham@msn.com

Thanks!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The kind of problem I can handle



I was at the GAP on Tuesday to return some pants for Cam. I was standing in line and the sales person was explaining to the lady in front of me their registers were having a MAJOR PROBLEM they were giving everyone 25% off their entire purchase. Corporate offices were working like crazy to fix it, but anyone who had a purchase rung up in the next few minutes would get the discount no questions asked. SERIOUSLY? I saw these down filled jackets and I've discovered recess is a bit hard on jackets. The jackets were marked down and then they were having 40% off on all warm weather gear and then 25% off that as well. I got one for each of my kids. Originally $68.00 Standing in line at the right time = $15.95. SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Ranky Stankies

This is my third post tonight I realize, but I am avoiding picking up my house, what can I say. On the lighter side of things I noticed today that my oldest male child as crossed some invisible line in male development and he loves his 'farts' or 'toots' or 'fluffies'
What do you call them at your house. My cousins the Rich's called it 'shooting bunnies'. At our house for reasons unknown to me they are called 'Ranky Stankies' and my Cambridge is proud.

Weak Things Become Strong - 5 for 5 (tag?)

Ether 12:27 This had been on my mind lately. When it was referenced in the talk below by Elder Worthlin it got me thinking again. Perception is an interesting thing. I'm not sure if it's a strength or a weakness but when I am perceiving others I am continuously looking at their strengths. I know the saying goes, "We compare our weakness to other's strengths." That's not what I'm talking about. I know I have strengths and weaknesses. I believe every person you interact with can somehow enrich, strengthen, or help improve/influence your life. Sometimes when I get reading lots of Blogs, or even just interacting with people I think, 'they do that well, and I need to be better at this or that. Or, 'they look so cute, I need to seriously work on my fashion.' Or, I should have taken my time with my hair this morning, they have great hair. They are SO spiritually further ahead of me! All I have to do is think of certain friends and I instantly want to be a better mother, teacher, wife, etc. etc. PERSON. Those thoughts at times make me run a little faster or pick up my house, or take a minute and put on some lip-stick. So I think this is a good thing because it makes me want to be better, but sometimes it also can painfully point out where my weaknesses are:
So here is my 5 for 5 (no this is not an Arby's or Subway commercial)
5 Strengths and 5 Weaknesses to become Strengths. I thought it might be interesting to make this a tag and see if anyone responded. These aren't like (top 5) just the first things that pop into your head.

Strengths
1. Overall in general terms, I am a good mom.
2. Overall in general terms, I am a good wife.
3. I fullfill all my church callings.
4. I genuinely care about my clients.
5. I am a good friend (even though I was told earlier this week I am not the easiest person to be friends with :( )

Weakness to become Strong:
1. I am A Queen (not THE queen) of clutter. I occasionally have a serious case of dropsy and it gets to a certain point and then I get all sorts of organized.
2. I am not disciplined. (In any way shape or form)
3. I compare myslef to others too much
4. Sometimes my EDIT button gets turned off and I say too much
5. My voice can be too loud, carry too far and I for sure talk too fast.

Come What May, and Love it!

Longer post than usual. This is obviously a full conference talk, but I think it's just become one of my all time favorites. I never did get my coke...but thanks for all the comments, it made my day.

Come What May, and Love It
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.
When I was young I loved playing sports, and I have many fond memories of those days. But not all of them are pleasant. I remember one day after my football team lost a tough game, I came home feeling discouraged. My mother was there. She listened to my sad story. She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.
When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.
“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”
I have often reflected on that counsel.
I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.
There may be some who think that General Authorities rarely experience pain, suffering, or distress. If only that were true. While every man and woman on this stand today has experienced an abundant measure of joy, each also has drunk deeply from the cup of disappointment, sorrow, and loss. The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness.
For me, the Lord has opened the windows of heaven and showered blessings upon my family beyond my ability to express. Yet like everyone else, I have had times in my life when it seemed that the heaviness of my heart might be greater than I could bear. During those times I think back to those tender days of my youth when great sorrows came at the losing end of a football game.
How little I knew then of what awaited me in later years. But whenever my steps led through seasons of sadness and sorrow, my mother’s words often came back to me: “Come what may, and love it.”
How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.
If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.
Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me through times of testing and trial. I would like to share them with you.
Learn to Laugh
The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. Have you ever seen an angry driver who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog, and his ancestors all the way back to Adam? Or have you had an encounter with an overhanging cupboard door left open at the wrong place and the wrong time which has been cursed, condemned, and avenged by a sore-headed victim?
There is an antidote for times such as these: learn to laugh.
I remember loading up our children in a station wagon and driving to Los Angeles. There were at least nine of us in the car, and we would invariably get lost. Instead of getting angry, we laughed. Every time we made a wrong turn, we laughed harder.
Getting lost was not an unusual occurrence for us. Once while heading south to Cedar City, Utah, we took a wrong turn and didn’t realize it until two hours later when we saw the “Welcome to Nevada” signs. We didn’t get angry. We laughed, and as a result, anger and resentment rarely resulted. Our laughter created cherished memories for us.
I remember when one of our daughters went on a blind date. She was all dressed up and waiting for her date to arrive when the doorbell rang. In walked a man who seemed a little old, but she tried to be polite. She introduced him to me and my wife and the other children; then she put on her coat and went out the door. We watched as she got into the car, but the car didn’t move. Eventually our daughter got out of the car and, red faced, ran back into the house. The man that she thought was her blind date had actually come to pick up another of our daughters who had agreed to be a babysitter for him and his wife.
We all had a good laugh over that. In fact, we couldn’t stop laughing. Later, when our daughter’s real blind date showed up, I couldn’t come out to meet him because I was still in the kitchen laughing. Now I realize that our daughter could have felt humiliated and embarrassed. But she laughed with us, and as a result, we still laugh about it today.
The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.
Seek for the Eternal
The second thing we can do is seek for the eternal. You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me?”
But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.
I love the scriptures because they show examples of great and noble men and women such as Abraham, Sarah, Enoch, Moses, Joseph, Emma, and Brigham. Each of them experienced adversity and sorrow that tried, fortified, and refined their characters.
Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.
Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.
Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”1
With that eternal perspective, Joseph took comfort from these words, and so can we. Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.
The Principle of Compensation
The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.
One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.
Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails. I have seen this in my own life. My grandson Joseph has autism. It has been heartbreaking for his mother and father to come to grips with the implications of this affliction.
They knew that Joseph would probably never be like other children. They understood what that would mean not only for Joseph but for the family as well. But what a joy he has been to us. Autistic children often have a difficult time showing emotion, but every time I’m with him, Joseph gives me a big hug. While there have been challenges, he has filled our lives with joy.
His parents have encouraged him to participate in sports. When he first started playing baseball, he was in the outfield. But I don’t think he grasped the need to run after loose balls. He thought of a much more efficient way to play the game. When a ball was hit in his direction, Joseph watched it go by and then pulled another baseball out of his pocket and threw that one to the pitcher.
Any reservations that his family may have had in raising Joseph, any sacrifices they have made have been compensated tenfold. Because of this choice spirit, his mother and father have learned much about children with disabilities. They have witnessed firsthand the generosity and compassion of family, neighbors, and friends. They have rejoiced together as Joseph has progressed. They have marveled at his goodness.
Trust in the Father and the Son
The fourth thing we can do is put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”2 The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.
He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong.3
One of our daughters, after giving birth to a baby, became seriously ill. We prayed for her, administered to her, and supported her as best we could. We hoped she would receive a blessing of healing, but days turned into months, and months turned into years. At one point I told her that this affliction might be something she would have to struggle with the rest of her life.
One morning I remember pulling out a small card and threading it through my typewriter. Among the words that I typed for her were these: “The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.”
She did put her trust in God. But her affliction did not disappear. For years she suffered, but in due course, the Lord blessed her, and eventually she returned to health.
Knowing this daughter, I believe that even if she had never found relief, yet she would have trusted in her Heavenly Father and “[left] the rest to Him.”
Conclusion
Although my mother has long since passed to her eternal reward, her words are always with me. I still remember her advice to me given on that day long ago when my team lost a football game: “Come what may, and love it.”
I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it.
As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what may, and love it.” Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Why I NEED a COKE


I'm talking fully leaded.. Not diet, not caffeine free...the real thing! I am trying to give the stuff up but tonight I am a bit overwhelmed. I don't think I am the busiest person around. In fact far from it. There are so many ways I could be more productive and efficient and get more done. Tonight I was over-come by the list of to-dos and it's far easier on a Thursday evening to sit and watch an hour of Grey's Anatomy. So here is my list..maybe if I blog about it, it will release the brain cramp it's giving me.
Make cake for work Christmas party tomorrow. Take extra diapering supplies for Rems to the school. Spend all of friday for work in North Ogden when I problably should also be attending an implant seminar in SLC and really would just like to be home. Finish work, go to mall do returns and buy gifts for Sub for Santa for Work party. Buy and cut squares to make quilt for work associate, and have everyone sign the squares at tomorrow nights party. Find sitter for kids during the party. Print out Baptism programs for Saturday but change the program to make room for one more additional child to be baptised. Buy additional jumpsuit for baptism canidate (our primary needed one more anyway) drop off jumpsuit. After baptims make fruit dip to take to neighbors after baptism brunch. Rush kids to Cam's basketball game. Attend cousins open house. Decorate my house. Prepare for Sunday Sharing time. Make holiday breads for teacher appreciation as well as tags and bows for 54 breads. Make it to church on time with kids (by myself - Brian is traveling) Print and prepare programs for Priesthood Preview which is Sunday evening. I was going to do a big Turkey dinner this Sunday, but it might have to wait. I know I am forgetting something. Oh ya exercise Fri and Sat min 40 minutes. remember to shower, dress, brush teeth, the usuals!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Road Trip!

We had decided to stay home and have a quiet Thanksgiving...use the weekend to kick back, relax and maybe get the Christmas decorations up......hmmm no that's not exactly what happened. About a week ago I was talking to my sis in Oregon, she is in the middle of some MAJOR projects and even if I could wave a magic wand and drop a Home Depot team out of the sky I'm not sure that would be enough. Not having a magic wand at my disposale the best I could do was load the family, have Brian pack the truck with tools, and away we went.

Thankful they slept some of the way


Thankful Remy learned to use the headphones

Brian attaching toiletsUncle Kerry and Uncle Mark (looking thrilled) to be doing door knobsNana Kaytlin and ZoeKids entertaining themselves as the adults worked.That is the pointer figer making sure I got the falls in the picture

Thankful for a stop at the falls -



We stopped in Boise on the way there, but from Lincoln City Oregon to our home it took 16 hours with stops...I think we were all a little crazy at the end

Special thanks to our friend Rachel who let us stay in her condo on the beach. It was cold and cloudy but beautiful!

Note for posterity sake. I LOVE Thanksgiving. I may have Christmas issues but I LOVE Thanksgiving. Because of the work being done on this house Min and Ker are building we decided to order a dinner from Albertsons. Somehow Thursday morning Kerry went to hook up the oven only to discover there was no cord.
We ended up at the Spirit Mt. Casino buffet. My kids had pizza (they were happy). As for me I'm still trying to figure out how a professional chef can screw up pumpkin pie....Seriously, all you have to do is follow the label on the Libby's can, it's not rocket science.
I am so grateful for all of my blessings including the opportuinty to go and help my sister. I am also grateful my mom and Mark joined the fun (we missed you Matt, fam and Jana)
I am however having do-overs on the dinner and fixing MY turkey on Sunday.
















Monday, November 24, 2008

12-0 Need I say more?

Do you bleed red or blue? What a game! What a Season!






At every touch-down Remy has to give five's to everyone around us.


Cassandra and Rems



Jana is the so SAD cougar fan - We only let her sit by us because we love her.Truth be told Brian and I both graduated from WSU which means we actually bleed purple. However after holding season tickets for six years now we are die hard UTES!!!

#6 in the NATION

BCS Bowl Here We Come!!!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Thankful for a Great Job!

I am spending the week in Wisconsin for level III career development training. I have a love-hate relationship with these weeks. I get back here and I miss my hubby and kids like crazy! I get the mommy guilties about working, but then I am reminded of the wonderful company I work for, and the company culture that has supported me and my family through some very rough times. This company invests in the education of their people, and it's not training to better understand my career, but to better understand the careers and business of my dentists. The company is run by phenomenal people from the CEO, President, Managers, Trainers, Service Technicians, you name it they are GOOD PEOPLE that I am Grateful For! Tim Sullivan, President (? not sure) Stan Bergman, CEO
I have better photos at home
It was the best google could come up with!



Friday, November 14, 2008

Grateful for Sweet Dreams


I know you're thinking; what does this picture have to do with 'sweet dreams' ??? Last night about 1am Brian went to check on the kids. Cam sat up in bed, rubbed his eyes, and said, "All right lets beat up the next one." and promptly fell back over on his pillow. I have no idea who or what he was beating up, but he was winning the fight!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Calling Christmas Wise Men (or women)

This is the 'kids' table at my mom's Christmas Party. Yes, she is amazing. I was raised by the Perfectionist/Idealist that married the Grinch. This made Christmas interesting and stressful. I have many good childhood Christmas memories but I also have some stressful ones. A few years ago I admitted to myself I was running around pretending to like this holiday when in reality I'm not sure I do. In order to fix this I've tried: starting new traditions, doing more Christmas 'things' more sub for Santa, more focus on giving, going to the cabin for a 'quiet' Christmas, listening to more Christmas music. Some of these things were good but many of them felt like more 'work'. I do love Christmas music but the minute it comes on the radio I feel instant stress. I don't want to feel this way, I want to feel the magic and the love and NOT the STRESS. This is where you wise men/ women come in to play...What do you do to feel the magic?

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Be grateful for the hard things....

During one of Remington's many stays Primary Childrens Hospital there were paper leaves posted in the stairwell. People passing by could write on a leaf and the volunteers would tape them to the wall. One leaf said, "I am grateful God has given me a life far richer than I would have chosen for myself."...... I don't think this means material riches AND if we did have a choice... Would we choose the hard things? Call me wimpy but I doubt I stood in Heaven and said Give me ALL of the really tough stuff. I think this leaf author was grateful for the hard things, the hard things that make us grow and develop character, the things that maybe we wouldn't choose on our own.
I think there are hard things that in this life we will never be grateful for, but I know there are some that increase our depth and make us better, more Christ like people.
I could write a VERY long post about Remy and Down Syndrome. During his 5 Surgeries 13 Hospital Stays and ?? ER visits I don't think I was feeling very grateful for my 'hard things'.
If Remy's "deal" was to come to this earth life with an extra 21st chromosome, I am eternally grateful he chose us. There are hard moments. Moments when I loose patience and I feel like I can't do this. Times when my heart breaks because we haven't found a cure for his chronic pain. So why am I grateful for this? Because the 'hard things' also bring great JOY. Remy is the expert on cuddling. He loves the NFL and NBA like no other 5yr old I've ever seen. He has the BEST laugh. He has the greatest sense of humor and he has these really cool eyes that tell you he knows and understands more than you realize. Hopefully through this process I am learning the things I NEED to be worthy of 'Together Forever'

Friday, November 7, 2008

Thankful #6 and #7

I am grateful for my mom and for her help. I wanted to throw a simple baby shower for my Nanny Jessica and her friends and I knew simple doesn't really exist for my mother and presentation is EVERYTHING! I should have run to SLC to get the stuff but she trekked out to my house after she got off work just to help me.
The main table


Here comes the creativity...These tv trays or lap-trays are actually the flats that bedding plants come in. They are spray painted white and doubled up for stability...then draped with matching napkins and ribbons. She actually made them years ago, they've come in handy a few times.These are my disasters! They are supposed to be cute LITTLE heart cookies. Thinking I could cut corners and save time I bought the Pillsbury ready made doe to roll out into cute little hearts frosted with pale blue icing..Thanks for nothing 'doe-boy'
I'll make new ones in the morning they will 'hopefully' be perfect.


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Thankful for.....


I am bugged FM100 is already playing continuous Christmas music. I am bugged for a few reasons, one of which is that I LOVE Thanksgiving. Other than cooking (which I enjoy) Thanksgiving doesn't come with a lot of pressure there is no worry about what presents to buy or what decorations to put up etc. etc. you get to eat yummy food and enjoy family and friends.

I picked up this tag from my cousins. This is a tag specifically for November. Daily or weekly post something you are thankful for. My friend Kath has a head start she's been doing it weekly all year. I'm a little behind:

Nov 1. My Husband

Nov 2. My Kids

Nov 3. The gospel

Nov 4. My home

Nov 5. My health

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Out of the Mouths of Babes


I wasn't going to post this, but it was one of those things that completely floored me.
Cambridge had a picture in his back-pack that said I voted for McCain. On the way to Karate I asked him why and completely unsolicited this is what he said:
McCain will keep his promises
Obama looks good but he tells lies and I know he is lying about hospitals and if people are sick.
McCain wants to finish the war and get the bad guys.
Obama wants the soldiers to just come home and hang out; which means that we won't get the bad guys and that means Obama is a bad guy.

We don't watch the news or listen to talk radio when the kids are around. Little did I realize how political my 8yr old is.

I asked him today how he felt about Obama winning and he said, 'Its ok".

I can not think of a time when I have fervently prayed for the leaders of our country. At the Bingham house we've prayed for them a lot lately and will continue to do so.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Baptism


This was a big day for Cambridge. We talk about families being together forever; in order for that to happen everyone has to do their part. I am so grateful Cambridge made his first step in our family being together forever. I am also grateful Brian holds the priesthood to perform this ordinance. The side note would be; all morning long as we ran around getting ready Cambridge was singing, "I like big butts I can not lie..hmm hmm hmm hmm " I think he was a bit keyed up about the day. I kept asking him to sing I am a child of God, or any primary song he could think of, but Big Buts won out. Thanks Shrek (Donkey sings it in Shrek 2)

We a had a special suprise visitor. My dad drove all the way from Portland to be here just for Cambridge's baptism.
Special thanks also to Uncle Owen who flew in from SanFrancisco.
We are grateful to all of our friends and family for coming out and supporting us this day.
We love you!



Trick or Treat




Pumpkin Carving 101

Step 1: Have Dad get the power tools
Step 2: Invite Uncle Owen and Grandma over to help
Step 3: Have the Mom keep her camera in hand so she doesn't have to get dirty = smart mommy!