This is the 'kids' table at my mom's Christmas Party. Yes, she is amazing. I was raised by the Perfectionist/Idealist that married the Grinch. This made Christmas interesting and stressful. I have many good childhood Christmas memories but I also have some stressful ones. A few years ago I admitted to myself I was running around pretending to like this holiday when in reality I'm not sure I do. In order to fix this I've tried: starting new traditions, doing more Christmas 'things' more sub for Santa, more focus on giving, going to the cabin for a 'quiet' Christmas, listening to more Christmas music. Some of these things were good but many of them felt like more 'work'. I do love Christmas music but the minute it comes on the radio I feel instant stress. I don't want to feel this way, I want to feel the magic and the love and NOT the STRESS. This is where you wise men/ women come in to play...What do you do to feel the magic?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Calling Christmas Wise Men (or women)
This is the 'kids' table at my mom's Christmas Party. Yes, she is amazing. I was raised by the Perfectionist/Idealist that married the Grinch. This made Christmas interesting and stressful. I have many good childhood Christmas memories but I also have some stressful ones. A few years ago I admitted to myself I was running around pretending to like this holiday when in reality I'm not sure I do. In order to fix this I've tried: starting new traditions, doing more Christmas 'things' more sub for Santa, more focus on giving, going to the cabin for a 'quiet' Christmas, listening to more Christmas music. Some of these things were good but many of them felt like more 'work'. I do love Christmas music but the minute it comes on the radio I feel instant stress. I don't want to feel this way, I want to feel the magic and the love and NOT the STRESS. This is where you wise men/ women come in to play...What do you do to feel the magic?
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9 comments:
When you get it figured out, let me know!
Actually, I have to say that I LOVE that table. Your mom is AMAZING, as are you! One quick tradition that we LOVE LOVE LOVE...I go to the library and choose about 23 good Christmas picture books. By now, however, we've collected quite a few of our own, so I don't get so many. Each night, starting either after Thanksgiving or on December 1, I send the kids upstairs to get jammies on, while I wrap up one of the books and put it under the tree. After jammies are on, we all gather under the tree, and one child gets to unwrap the book. Then, by the light of the tree, we read the story. My kids LOVE this, and it helps us bond and do something fun and stress-less every single night. I'd love to hear other ideas!
Mel - you have to be honest and admit that you have just a tad more of your mom in you than you're claiming. Thus, your stress is because perfection takes work! But I have to add that you do perfection really well and on less sleep than most :)
My recipe for a stress free Christmas - move at least 400 miles from any family. Thus eliminating family Christmas parties and any pressure to visit anyone on Christmas day.
Furthermore, disconnect cable so your children don't even know that TV exists outside of videos from the library. Thus eliminating the marketing monsters that target our children to WANT, WANT, WANT. This past Christmas when the Wii was on everyone's list, my sweet Cason asked for a snow globe. I know they're sheltered, but I LOVE it!
I probably sound like a Grinch - but I really do LOVE the holidays - we just do them very different than most. It wasn't until I let go of what I thought we "ought" to be doing and began doing what we "want" to do that I fell in love with the holidays. I'd tell you more of the things we do, but I'm afraid I'd offend someone :)
Melanie,
Your mom kills me! At least she loves throwing a party so much. I make shopping lists early and finish before Thanksgiving. I have all my decor up the weekend before Thanksgiving. So when in the thick of December I don't feel the stress of decorating and shopping during all the parties etc. Then I always put together a list of activities that we want to do, have the freezer packed with cookie dough, and well stocked holiday supplies from the pantry down to scotch tape. The more I am prepared for all aspects the more I enjoy the holidays.
Ok I've thought about this alot. Probably cause you and I are alot alike. I think there is GOOD holiday stress and BAD stress. Doing the all out tables and decorations and other stuff is GOOD holiday stress. You have many great memories because of the Good holiday stress your mom went through. And you want all the momories for your kids! That is what it''s all about. I think to it gives kids alot of, I guess for better words, self esteem. To think that I am so loved that my mom would do all this for me! Make sense. I also know Christmas would not be the same for you if you didn't. So remember GOOD stress BAD stress. Think positive it all GOOD!!!
I too have mixed feelings about the Holidays...due to a little similarity in our family history. I have tried really hard to institue some traditions that I enjoy (nothing fancy, just light-seeing, pajama giving, and a new christmas book on christmas eve.) I try, try, try, to give what I can, and involve my kids in that.
I do think I try so hard so my kids won't have the sames types of mixed feelings that I do.
I remember early into our marriage, there seemed to be a pattern of me picking a fight with Blair on every holiday. He finally asked me what was up with that...and I had to remind myself that it wasn't normal to fight on Holidays.
Anyways, bottom line is I get it...and it takes work.
i am always impressed w/ your mom's decor! i think she should contribute (if it's possible?) to www.hostessblog.com.
you both are so creative. keep up the fun posts.
Oh my gosh, you're mom is amazing. We all knew that anyway, but I can't believe that "kids" table!!! I've always loved Christmas, but as a new mom now I can understand how it can be a stressful holiday...and I'm sure the stress will increase with more kids! Even now, I'm trying to get all my shopping done before Thanksgiving so I can just relax during December and enjoy activities with my family. That's all I've got for now!
O.K. So that table your Mom did is adorable! She is amazing and SO creative. But let's keep in mind that she LIKES to do that stuff. Believe me, I understand because my mom is the same way. I've just come to realization that, that sort of thing brings them joy (even though they tend to stress about it), but that doesn't mean that we have to try to do all that they do--especially if it doesn't bring us the same type joy. If I try it usually just gives me a headache. BUT I truely appreciate their talents and the time and thought that they put into these things but it's just not my deal. I would just like to add that you too have lots of amazing talents, and it's pretty obvious where you got those from...Anyway try not to stress but as they say 'Tis the season!
P.S. I love Kim's suggestion--I may have to steal that idea from her...
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