Uncle and Faith

Remember the hand game you played as kids where you had your knuckles squished backwards until you cried "Uncle".  Everyone has stuff (trials) that they are dealing with big or small, wide or narrow, yesterday, today and tomorrow everyone has 'stuff' they are dealing with.   If we didn't have stuff there would be no growth, no change.  I don't believe my 'stuff'' is any bigger or weightier than anyone else's.  It's just mine and I have to figure it out.  My Dad is dying.  It's a reality that I am accepting in small moments.  His first diagnosis was 2-5 years. Now it is looking like 6-9 months.  He is in Oregon with my beyond awesome sister, and because of the distance I don't have a constant reminder, the clock is ticking and this is going to happen.  But the reminders are there and they are coming more frequently.  When we first found out Sport had Down Syndrome I told Indy I could handle a special needs child, but I couldn't handle a special needs child AND a traveling husband.  Things are constantly changing and evolving for Indy at work and it's meant A LOT of travel.  Some of you may say, no big deal.  My full time job, plus four busy kids, plus special needs child that is 8 and still in diapers = a good amount of stress.  I have always wanted to be a 'stay at home mom;  for various reasons (mostly health insurance) it just hasn't worked out that way.  About 2 months ago the still small voice started whispering I needed to pay attention as in CLOSE attention to my children.  I get one chance to take 4 awesome little people and help them grow into awesome big people. Because of the stress and demands of my job I feel like I am constantly multi-tasking; looking at my phone, returning emails, stressing about work, when the soccer game, dance recital or small child saying 'mommy' should have my full attention vs. "hold on a minute".  If I ask them to hold on for too many minutes they are going to be old and leaving the house before I give them my attention. UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE  Time for a change. After pondering and pondering and praying....Nothing felt right.  Finally a good friend said, "you need to exercise faith" DUH.  I made a decision and figured at some point if I was on the wrong path the Lord would re-direct.  I told my boss 4 weeks ago I was quitting or in this case retiring.  I think he almost fainted.  The last 9 months at work I have been busting my fanny to turn my territory around.  Honestly a year ago when I had Noah it was in the dumps. The hard work has paid off and things are finally turning around.
My retirement plan lasted 5 days.  My region director got wind of it and said, 'No, you can't quit'.  Serious?  Remember how I said I would have faith if I wasn't on the path I would get redirected?  This is my new direction.  I am staying with my awesome awesome company.  I am switching to strictly handling Special Market, and a handful of large group practices.  I'm excited about this opportunity; I think it's a great opportunity.  I will be saying good-by to my regular accounts.  Some of those accounts I have called on for 15 years, 8 years, 1 year, and all I consider not just my clients but my friends.  Change is hard, but change is good.