In my effort to blog about it vs. boob about it. "It" meaning how fast my kids are growing up....I am going to occasionally insert some hopefully short recaps of the day. When you ask Sport how school was, you get either, "good day" or "bad day" with his saddest face and then he starts laughing. If Sport is being a pill you can also tell him it's a 'grumpy day' and 'no smiles' and he will start laughing as well. (Cass you know where we got this). So these are my_____day posts, depending on the day it's been. Some days I will just have to label as an all-in-one because it's been good, bad, grumpy or possibly even ugly.
At midnight last night I got a call that my nanny was sick. At midnight it's hard to call people and put together a back-up plan. I knew in the morning I would have to scramble to pull something together. After a couple of hopeless phone calls, my neighbor came to my rescue. THANK HEAVENS!!
Now the part about first love. Sport has found his first love. Hannah Montana or as he calls her 'hanna tana'. If I have my ipod in the car he will yell, from the back "MY TURN" "Hanna Tana" and he keeps yelling if I happen to turn her off to answer the phone. I think I've memorized all the words to "Best of Both Worlds" Today Sport was singing from the back of the burb and I was singing along; on the way to soccer practice I thought in a small (very small) way I can identify with this song. I feel like I live in two worlds being the working professional and the at home mom. I have struggled with this since having Master. I will save all the details for a later post but long story short it's just where I am right now. About every 6-8 months I have this emotional breakdown, Satan sits on my shoulder and tells me that I am not a good mom or that I would be a better mom if I were home full time and I'm not that great of a worker, and my company would be better off with someone that could dedicate more time to 'the job'. After I feel like I'm failing at everything in my life, I cry, get some sleep and usually feel better in the morning. SO TODAY I decided to have an attitude adjustment instead of poor me, it's lucky me. I get the to do the best of both worlds. I'm not saying the situation is perfect and I am far from having my "stuff" together, but there are some good things that happen everyday in my life from one if not 'both worlds'. I love the people in the offices I get to work with. I love knowing what's going on at the dental office but also what's happening in their own personal world. I worked to get home right at 3:30 which meant I got to pick Princess up from pre-school and have her show me her awesome finger paintings. I made it in time to get Sport off the bus. Bubba met me with a smile that brings pure joy to my heart. I chatted with my neighbor about Faith while we enjoyed the beautiful evening. Master and I read together. Bubba went to sleep without any fuss and then I snuggled the other three all together and told funny stories about when they were babies and finished we with gratefuls. For the record, Princess is grateful for Wal-Mart and me. But Wal-mart came first. (trying to not take it personally). And just in case you get the wrong idea...my house looks like a small bomb went off, I need to re-wash the load of whites currently in the washer because they have been there for two days and I had to call my cell phone 3 times today to figure out where I last set it down. Three times, that's got to be some kind of record. I didn't exercise and I ate a completely divine desert that my other neighbor brought over which is completely prohibited on my current diet....oh well over-all it was a good day.
4 comments:
I've sooooooooo been there on those nanny days. I remember a time you and Cass came to MY rescue - I'll never forget.
Why do we do the guilt trip session every 6 months? I know it well, and seem to cycle through it also. The variables include, the day I had at work, what I may have missed at home, and whether or not my stress level is through the roof.
I've decided to accept what is. I work...it is what it is. If I were home...I would still find plenty to bitch about. Human nature, I guess.
You do a fantastic job managing it all...I mean really, did you take a look at your house and cute family Sunday? They were perfect.:)
I go through that cycle once a week. Way to change the attitude. We are definitely in the crazy times of our lives! It's nice to know we're not alone in feeling inadequate. You're such an awesome mom - such a great example. Keep your chin up - you rock!
If it makes you feel any better, I often think I would be a better mom if I worked more. Maybe than I would appreciate the sweeter moments a little more. It's hard to juggle it all, but you seem to do a hell of a job.
I think you are my hero! I think you are the best of the best when it comes to moms and friends. So thankful for you! You make my heart smile! Now...you may need to talk to Zoe about Walmart....get her to like target instead! :)
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