What keeps you up at night?

I can't sleep. Today at the pool as I am getting a kick out of watching Sport do this all on his own. (This is huge for him) This lady comes up and asks me how old my son is. She then tells me that she had a little Downy boy that passed away last October. Her son was exactly the same age and looked very similar to Sport. Her little boy, Zaine, died from colon strangulation. The bazaar part is that I know what that is. When her son was born he had duodenal atresia. (They thought Sport had this when he was born) Your colon simply narrows where it shouldn't and has to be surgically corrected at birth. The problem is, as with any surgery scar tissue can form. In Zane's case the scar tissue grew and strangled his colon, causing sepsis and death. In this case on a Thursday he came down with 'flu' like symptoms, on Friday the mother is re-assured by the doctor on call it's really just the 'flu' and by Saturday morning he is found unconscious and after two hours of CPR he is gone. Oh my heart! This is the third time I have heard a story like this. Do you know every time Sport has had something major wrong, they tell us it's the 'flu'. Ruptured appendix and septic - it's the flu. Enterocolitis -it's the flu. Pneumonia Empyema with a collapsed lung- It's the flu. Needless to say, when Sport really does get the flu it scares the crap out of me. My heart went out to this mom. I climbed in to my bed tonight and as usual (because Sport almost nightly crawls into my side of the bed) my sheets smelled faintly of poop. Typically that smell makes me bonkers but tonight I am grateful for my smelly sheets:)
This is the other thing keeping me awake. We found out last Saturday Master was 8th pick in the first round of the local little league draft. My Indy was so proud of his son it brought tears to his eyes (seriously). Tonight was the first night of practice in full pads and gear. Because of his size Master is playing with 30 other kids that are a year older than him and all played last year. Now begins the painful part. When you watch your kids do "stuff" no matter what it is, you want them to be great. Maybe we live vicariously through our kids, but still you want them to at least keep pace with the rest of the kids. What if they are the slowest kid? What if they are they are the last one across the line? What if they know that, and it affects how they see and feel about themselves? What IS my kid supposed to learn through this 'sport' what am I supposed to learn? TEACHING OPPORTUNITY - holy cow!!!! Am I up for this? Welcome to the rest of my life! I thought the baby phase was hard. This is much harder and much more emotional. I'm a mom, I hurt when they hurt, when they fail I feel like I have failed.... and seriously, I'm not sure I'm ready for this. Master if you ever read this I want you to know... Today I was proud of you for not quiting. For not giving up even though I know you wanted to. You finished the task at hand, and you did so without cheating. I am proud of you for listening to your Dad. I know right now you think 'everyone else' is better than you, and you only have a tiny belief that 'you can do it' but I know that belief will grow as you keep practicing and as the saying goes, "get up one more time than you fall." Love mom