Benefit of the Doubt and ASSumptions

You always hope others will give you the benefit of the doubt, but how often do we choose to be offended or bugged because we are reading or seeing a situation through only OUR own filter.

In our world of txt email and social media we write, we hashtag we emoticon and we think others understand our meaning.  I was reading an email earlier this week and I was bugged by what the person was saying.  There was a lol thrown in and a smiley face, but when I read it, I was bugged by their hidden meanings, or what I assumed were hidden meanings.  Maybe they didn't mean that at all?

Recently I had several conversations with a local parent.  Her comments to me came across critical and judgmental.  But really did she wake up that morning and with intention think…"hmm how can I offend Melanie today"?  Probably not.  So how do you let it go?  How do you not let it bother you?  Zoe was not invited to a party in our neighborhood a few weeks ago and I asked her if she was ok, and her response was "sure, whatever."  I think her feelings were hurt for a minute, but she moved on and got busy with something or someone else.  

As evidenced in our super social world we see just snap shots of people doing stuff.  Suddenly we think everyone is going to Disneyland because we saw three people post it on Facebook.  Or we wonder why those girls are hanging with those boys, why didn't they invite my child?  Why is that family doing something with that other family, they look like they are having SO much fun.  There was a girls night out and I never get invited on girls' night out….. etc.  etc. 

To truly give the benefit of the doubt I think the answer is; SandS snap-shots and sometimes.  SNAP-shots.  We are seeing a little TINY snapshot NOT the entire story or history behind the story.  and SOMEtimes  Sometimes there is a whole bunch of factors we are unaware of, (as much as I think I know everything).  This is a hard one for me because I do try to put the mask down and be transparent, almost to a fault.  I need to remember others are not that way, and there could be a whole lot of "something" I"m not aware of.

I'm sure there are some serious communication skills I'm lacking, but for now I'm going to assume the best.  I'm going to assume that there were no hidden meanings in the email.  (to do this I might need to just hit delete on that piece of communication).  I am going to assume that mom and her daughter think my daughter is adorable but there house is only so big and it's ok to not go to every birthday party.  I am going to assume my fellow parent thinks I'm great even though we don't make the same decisions about what our kids are involved with.  I am going to assume the best by giving them the benefit of the doubt. And I pray others do the same for me.