Friday, June 20, 2014

Half full

I had the thought this week as  I drove to Primary Children's hospital, where I couldn't decide if my glass was half full or half empty.  I am a firm believer in the concept "it is what it is".  However I believe mentally we have a choice of focus.  Was I focused on the fact that I was super lucky to live close to a great hospital.  Lucky to have professionals go out of their way to help my son.  Or was I focussed on how much it sucks to have your vacation end at the hospital.  The nurse was going to completely miss his vein and I was going to have to sit on my child to constrain him while he yelled and screamed in pain.  Which would I remember or relate to others as I told of my experience?
The past week has been full of poop.  No matter what I do, Rems has something going on with his intestines and he is a pooping machine. EVERYDAY I am cleaning poop out of carpet or clothes or bedding and usually more than once a day.  Again this morning I was thinking about Thankful Thursday (which was yesterday) and I am so thankful for clorox wipes, I am thankful for my washing machine.  To think of dealing with his intestinal issues without a washing machine.  That would be CRAP.  Literally!  Grateful for this weird tube in his belly that has me dealing with poop 2-3 times a day vs. 10 -12.  I've done 10-12 and it SUCKS.  So I am grateful, thankful, happy.  Now at the same time I want to sit down and just have a good cry, because poop stinks no matter how often you have to clean it up.  I can find many many more things that suck about the above situation, but mentally I can't go there.  If I go there and find the glass half empty I will not function.  I won't get out of bed. So for today the glass is half full.  It has to be.